Do you get NERVOUS just dialing?
Do you start thinking about what you're going to say, how you'll say it, ways to ask her out, and how to deal with her possibly rejecting you?
Have you ever actually HUNG UP because you got so damn freaked out, you just couldn't follow through with it?
And if you were actually able to follow through…
Did you start talking only to realize that she was in a COMPLETELY different mood from the last time? Almost like she was a totally different person?
If so, why all the problems?
What is it about these particular few minutes that cause problems for so many guys when it comes time to ask a girl out on the phone?
Let me put it this way…
If you're dialing and you start to feel nervous, it's already too late. There's no "magic pill" to save you at that point.
The answer is about PREPARATION. And PREVENTION.
If you're one of those guys who blow it when it comes time to ask a girl out on the phone, here are some of the "root causes" as I see them…
1. You have no other options.
If you're sitting at the phone with just ONE number in-hand - or haven't been out on a date in a long time - you're probably going to get VERY nervous. When you have no other options, the single one in front of you becomes TOO valuable. You imagine that if you screw this up, it's all over.
2. You put too much importance on a single girl.
If you found a girl that's one in a million, it makes sense to put a lot of importance on your relationship with her.
But if you don't know a girl very well, or haven't even dated her yet, then you're setting yourself up for major disappointment by putting too much importance on her when you ask her out on the phone.
3. You think you need to IMPRESS her.
When you start getting your hopes and expectations up, you get ATTACHED to them. Then you run the risk of HOLDING ON TOO TIGHT to a FANTASY.
This is a HUGE issue. Most men "subconsciously" behave and communicate like they're trying to IMPRESS the ultimate woman of their dreams when they're really just asking a girl out on the phone.
But have you ever thought for a moment how a woman sees a guy who's TRYING TOO HARD to IMPRESS her?
She thinks there's something wrong. That this guy must have something to hide, or that he's way too insecure.
In other words, her radar system screams: "MUGU!"
4. You set expectations and become attached to them.
When you start getting your hopes and expectations up, you get ATTACHED to them. Then you run the risk of HOLDING ON TOO TIGHT to a FANTASY.
Bad idea.
Just like being desperate can destroy your chances with a woman, liking her too much, too fast, can create crazy, stupid mistakes when you ask her out on the phone.
So what SHOULD you do to SUCCEED with a woman when you ask her out on the phone? Here we go…
Get more options.
When you get a number from a woman… immediately go get at least ONE MORE from another woman. Even more, if you can.
That way, when you're picking up the phone and thinking of ways to ask her out - or sending her emails, or whatever - you've got another potential date to call next.
Expect it NOT to work out with this girl.
I have news for you: Most women have something about them that will disqualify them from being good "potential mates" for you.
If you think about how rare it is that you actually meet a girl that is COMPATIBLE with you, you won't have that "I'm desperate" vibe going on.
Instead of asking a woman out, do this:
When you call to ask a girl out on the phone, tell her that you're doing something else, but that she should feel free to join you.
Try saying something like:
"Hey, I'm going to go down to Tantalizers to get a cup of ice cream. You should join me."
Extra bonus points: hint that she's missing out if she doesn't accept immediately. If she hems and haws or hesitates, say: "You're missing out… "
The point is: I used to get VERY freaked out when it came time to ask a girl out on the phone for the first time.
But now that I understand this "scary moment" better - as well as the "dynamics" of CREATING ATTRACTION that drive it - I get MUCH better results.
In fact, I never get nervous anymore when calling women, and I rarely if EVER have a woman flake out on me.
If you'd like to get a better handle on the basics of CREATING ATTRACTION so you won't ever have to feel nervous again when you ask a girl out on the phone - or anywhere else for that matter - here's what I want you to do:
Click www.bjb-007.blogspot.com
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