Stop caring about how people perceive you. Some of them will like you and some of them won't. Either attitude is as likely to be right or wrong.

It's next-to-impossible to be yourself when you're caught up in constantly wondering "Do they think I'm funny? Does she think I'm fat? Do they think I'm stupid? Am I good/clever/popular enough to be a part of their group of friends?"

To be yourself, you've got to let go of these concerns and just let your behavior flow, with only your consideration of others as a filter — not their consideration of you.

Besides, if you change yourself for one person or group, another person or group may not like you, and you could go on forever in a vicious cycle trying to please people instead of focusing on building up your talents and strengths; being a people-pleaser or always wanting everyone's love and respect is a totally pointless exercise in the end that can harm your personal development and confidence. Who cares what other people say?

As Eleanor Roosevelt said once, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" and what matters most is that you listen to your own inner confidence and if it's missing, that you start developing it!

Does this mean no one's opinion in life matters? No. It hurts if you're socially rejected. If you're forced into a situation where you must spend most or all of your time among people who can't stand you for reasons of their own, it's dangerous to internalize their negative ideas of who you are.

What you can do is exercise some choice in whose opinions you value more than others. It's much healthier to pay attention to people who genuinely mean you well and who agree with you about what you want to do with your life.

Be careful though, an individual can mean you well, but it may be only on their own terms. This could steer you down the wrong path, and with all the passion of true consideration for your well being.

Don't trivialize it if you face negative social pressure or bullying.

It's easier to withstand it if you are aware of it as pressure and build healthy defenses. Building up a circle of trusted friends and people who share your views and beliefs in life is a good way to help reduce the impact of hostile people.

You can tell yourself their opinions don't matter, and they shouldn't, but that's a lot easier when there are others who agree with you and stand by you. If you are alone that is fine, just think about how the people in your life who care about you.

Then compare them to whoever the bully is; suddenly you can realize that their opinion of you, your family or your lifestyle, is worthless. We inherently care about the opinions of those we respect and look up to.

This works both ways; if someone has no respect for you, then what they say about you is just empty words coming from someone who is one step above being a total stranger.

Learn the difference between intimidating, sarcastic, conniving, or thoughtless comments from others and constructive criticism which is well intended. It will focus on real faults that you don't know about, and could do with remedying.

In the latter case, people such as parents, mentors, teachers, coaches, etc., might well be telling you things that you need to digest and mull over at your own pace, to make self-improvements for the better.

The difference is that their critique of you is intended to be helpful. They care about you and are interested in how you grow as a person, and are respectful.

Learn how to spot the difference and you will live well, dismissing pointless negative critiques, and learning from the constructive critique.

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