“Who initiates sex more often—the man or the woman?”

www.boodogay.blogspot.com

I recently read a survey that was done by a radio station talk

show where they asked their listeners this question: “In YOUR

experience, who initiates sex more often—the man or the woman?”

It probably won’t surprise you to learn that most of the men

responded that they had to initiate sex most of the time, and in

some cases ALL of the time.

But what you might find slightly more interesting is that

most of the women said EXACTLY THE SAME THING.

The women all think that THEY are the ones who have start

things up if they want to have sex.

So if the men think that they have to start things, and

women think that it’s the opposite, then who’s right? What is

REALLY going on here?

Well, the answer is that men and women DEFINE what they

mean by initiating sex differently.

For a man, initiating sex is something concrete and physical:

You try to take off her pants, or you go to put on a condom, or you

try to put your cock inside of her. And that seems obvious enough.

If you do one of these things, and she puts on the brakes, then it’s

clear that YOU initiated and SHE rejected you.

But women think about this completely differently.

For a woman, initiating sex means that they “communicated”

to you that they want to have sex. For her, it means she’s putting

it out there that she wants to have sex, and then if you do or say

something that indicates that you agree (like take off her pants or

go for a condom), then she feels like she started it.

If, on the other hand, you DON’T do one of these things in

response to her “communication,” then she feels like SHE initiated

and that YOU rejected her.

The problem is that this “communication” is usually

something very subtle. Which is to say, it’s usually not something

like her looking you in the eye and saying, “let’s have sex now.”

Nope. Unfortunately, for women, communication is

something very different than it is for men.

For a woman, communicating that she’d like to have sex

RIGHT NOW might be something like playing with her hair in a

certain way, or parting her lips and leaning her head back. Or

rubbing her leg on yours. Or arching her back and smiling so that

you notice her breasts. Or…

Ha… The problem is that I could go on and on and never

even scratch the surface, because women’s subtle communications

come in a thousand different ways. The ways that different women

communicate are all different, and even though it’s all PERFECTLY

CLEAR to them, it’s really not possible to keep track of it if you are

a man.

The bottom line is this—if you’ve ever been with a woman

and you sort of sensed that she might be getting kind of horny,

and so you went ahead and escalated things to a physical level…

chances are she thought that SHE initiated sex by letting you

know that she was in the mood in a subtle way, and that you

ACCEPTED HER offer by taking the next step.

As in dancing, she expects you to lead, so even though you

feel like you were the sexual aggressor by leading the physical

side… from her point of view, it is like her asking you if you’d like

to dance, but then letting you lead when you got to the dance floor.

So, if that’s not enough of a brain-twister for you… it gets

worse.

Follow me along now as I try to unravel for you the

mysterious ways in which women think…

If it is true that she thinks she is initiating sex by sending

you signals and communications that you are not even AWARE

of…

Then it ALSO MUST BE TRUE that she sometimes sends

those signals, and you, not noticing, don’t have sex with her…

meaning that she feels REJECTED.

Now, think about how it feels for you when you start kissing

her neck and trying to take off her shirt and she says, “Not now.

I’m not in the mood.”

Sometimes it’s okay… but sometimes it feels kind of bad.

Right?

Now, remember, women are generally more sensitive than

men, so the chances of her feeling kind of bad are a bit higher…

And this explains the typical scene that goes a little

something like this:

You sense at some point in the evening that your girl is

feeling a bit sexy and playful… but you are in the middle of

something so you put her off, thinking, yes! later when we go to

bed we are going to have some fun!

But later, when you go to initiate sex is acts coldly towards

you. You ask her what’s wrong and she says, “nothing!” and rolls

over and goes to sleep.

See, what happened was, when she was acting kind of

playful earlier in the evening… she thought that she was making it

PERFECTLY CLEAR that she wanted to have sex.

When you put her off, she felt like you were REJECTING her.

Later, when you went to start things up… she was just

getting even.

And I know that if you have EVER been a long-term

relationship, a giant gong just went off in your head.

If you are a single guy, then you can probably relate to a

similar scenario… when you were back at your place, on the

couch, and you were “pretty sure” that she was feeling sexual

towards you… but you weren’t “totally sure” so you didn’t make

your move…

And as you were working up your nerve to go for it and find

out for sure, you could FEEL that the moment had passed…. That

she wasn’t into it anymore.

What changed?

It’s so frustrating because you actually do sense that you did

something wrong, but you can’t figure out what. Why was she into

you 3 minutes ago, but now, if you even go for a kiss, you’re going

to get her cheek?

Same deal.

She feels like you have either rejected her, or that you’re just

not man enough to step up and move things forward when she has

given you what TO HER is a crystal clear invitation for sex (or at

least some serious fooling around).

So given the strange way in which women communicate and

think about this kind of thing… isn’t it possible that there might be

a way… a BETTER WAY to initiate sex with a woman that will

make more sense to HER… and work a whole lot better for the

both of you?

Let’s take a look…