Is Everyone Doing It?

Do you ever wonder how your sexual activity compares with others? Do you ever
worry that you're having too much sex? Or do you ever feel like you're just not
getting enough sex? Married, divorced, single, young, and old, is everybody
having sex all the time? It's easy to wonder how many other people are having
sex, because most of the time people don't just come out and tell you their sexual
histories.
The fact is, though, that it is difficult to determine how many times people have
had sex, because most people don't keep an exact count, at least after a few years
of having sex. Although you may know how many partners you've had, that
number doesn't necessarily add up to the amount of sex you've had. If you had
one steady partner for 5 years and you had sex on your first date and every day
after that, then you had sex 1,825 times in 5 years. If you had 50 partners over the
course of 5 years, but they were all one night stands, then you only had sex 50
times in 5 years. So if you want to determine how much sex you've had in your
life, try to count the number of total times, not partners.
I am often asked if a person can have too much sex or too little sex. Some people
like to hear about the average sexual frequency of others, because if they match
those numbers, it makes them feel normal. However, there is no such thing as normal or average when it comes to frequency of sex. You can never have too little sex, unless you want to have more. If, for example, a husband and wife only want to have sex once a year, and that's totally fine with both of them, then that's the
amount of sex that they should have. Whatever amount makes you and your
partner happy is the right amount, no matter how infrequent.
On the other hand, if you enjoy having sex often, that's fine, if you can find a
partner who wants the same amount as you. The only way you can have too much
sex is if it is interfering with your life. If you have to quit your job, you never
have time to talk to your family or friends, and you can't function normally
because you feel that you must have sex all the time, then you're having too much
sex. Some people who are this extreme are said to be sexually compulsive, and
they should be treated by a sex therapist for this problem. Otherwise, there is
nothing wrong with having a lot of sex. If you have the time and a willing partner,
go for it!
If you're not having as much sex as you want to be having, it can be frustrating. If
you have a partner who does not like to have sex as often as you do, then you two
need to work out a happy compromise. If you are not having as much sex as you
would like because you're single, don't despair—there are plenty of potential
partners who are in the same situation, and someday you will find each other.